how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
