I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
