just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hippo gnu deer
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
