the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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