just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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