That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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