the day after is always just damage control
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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