He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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