You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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