Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
