I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
