Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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