its not stalking. its research.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
