Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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