My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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