listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize