Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
