im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
