is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
