My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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