Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize