his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
