I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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