her facebook's as public as her vagina
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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