He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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