but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
