I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
