So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize