I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize