Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
don't judge my taste in strippers
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
