I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Panties = found
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
