im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pappa wants mamma naked
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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