Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
