the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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