Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
