Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Randomize
