So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
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