She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
