you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
