We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
