How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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