That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
