Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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