i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
