I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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