Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize