well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
