I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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