R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
