Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
