Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
