How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
