Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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