All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize