she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My life is pants optional.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
