he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
