even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So here I am, sexting at work.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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