That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My hand turned me down
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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