The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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