You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
