my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
