yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
