Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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