i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
