My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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