I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize