I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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