your room smells of hookers.
And success
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
