Acid is not a monday night drug
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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