u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
