69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
MIDGETS
????
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
