great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
