What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
