I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your cock deserves a montage
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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