My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize