OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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