Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
