I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
