Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
