Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
