my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Congratulations! We have a period
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