A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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